What do you do when life is overwhelming?
Cry and wail?
Get angry and rage at the world?
Become so confused and burdened that the simplest things are “too much”?
Well, in the last couple of months, I’ve done all of those.
It just seemed like we were, as a family, going through a season of hard news and even harder decisions. Big decisions.
One of the things I did as a result was to avoid blogging. I retreated and withdrew.
I’ve missed it so much…more than that, I missed the readers who would stop by and comment with kindness. I let a community of support pass me by and I truly regret that!
Grief is not a quick boo-boo that someone can kiss away. Sometimes it stays in the background, complacent to let you go about your day in relative normality. Other times it rushes to the forefront of your mind and heart with a vengeance, delighting in the havoc it is wreaking. For me it usually commences with the havoc wreaking when I’m stressed about other things….fun, right? I’m sure some of you know exactly what I’m talking about!
My mom’s birthday is this week. I still miss her every single day. I still slip and say things like, “Oh, we’ll have to tell Ammah (what my boys called her) she would like that!”. She’s not here to tell things to anymore or to laugh with anymore or to give me a dose of her grace and logic-filled wisdom.
Like I said, I miss her.
I hope that this doesn’t come across as whining. I hate it when I do that….
Having said all of that, I will share with you that I’ve had some much needed wake-up calls. Reminders of what’s important and necessary and what can be let go of. Oh, how I’ve needed those reminders!
So, I’m hopeful that I will continue to blog and not withdraw…for the love of blogging and of being a part of such a wonderful community!
